I am sitting in Zoka Coffee shop,..Greenwood, Seattle, WA. Beautiful Fall day. Leaves; orange, yellow and brown blowing all around the streets and into peoples hair. I had one stick to my red cap today.
I should really write this stuff in my personal journal, because I am fully aware that the mundane details of my day, the week or seasons do not make for an interesting blog. But since I am here with my computer and free wi fi,..I will write.
Woke up today after a fun night of Burlesque at El Gaucho last night. A sigh of relief for Cooper that the entire dinner show last night went off phenomenally. I for one had never seen a burlesque show before last night. Much like I had expected. And absolutely loved that the female performers came in all different and beautiful shapes, sizes and colors. Costumes as well!! So fun!
Getting out of the house last night,..not so fun. Applying lot's of drag(ish) makeup, easy. Thank you MAC cosmetics for the few years of training. Hair..not an issue. Thank you Jaclyn! for the freekin' fantastic Blue Wig! I love that thing. But the "chemo bloat" is in full force mid way through treatment now. I have literally gained 10 lbs since August '09. SICK. Now I will not continue to write and beat myself up publicly as well as privately. As I know how irritating it can sound from another person..whining and playing the victim to weight gain.
I do however want to illustrate that as part of my experience with cancer this is one toll that the treatment/process has taken on my body. It is the reality of the situation. And although I hate to be a statistic,..it happens to many women going through the same treatment process.
Stripping you down. Taking so much of the physical away. February 13th, 2009 to now. I barely feel like myself, at times don't recognize myself in the mirror. But my mind is still in tact. So that is the thread I will hang onto.
Coop & I stayed up late last night. Talking, laughing. Reminiscing about when we first met. He described the outfit I wore the second time we went to dinner at Lola. I barely remembered,..but he could recount every detail. We met in March of 2005. So much has changed. So much for the better. I wouldn't go back or trade and portion of my life. Lessons learned. Love has grown and vulnerability is no longer a weakness, but a conscious decision to open up.
I will however celebrate our 5th anniversary this year while wearing the jeans that I met Cooper in. If I have to wake my lazy ass up every G.D. morning starting on December 16th (1 week after last treatment) to run for 45 min. I WILL!
oh,..And Chelsea & I will also be taking Burlesque Dancing Classes at Miss Indigo Blue's Academy in 2010. 6 week course. Very exciting. And also very motivating. Can't wait to create my own "character"/Stage name. And the outfits! The lingerie! Eeeeek. But again,..one more reason to get my butt in perfect form. Tassels and shimmy shake make for a really great motivator! I wonder how the "girls" will move once I get my perfect new silicone pair? Potentially very comical.
Just gotta get through the next 2 months.
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