Only 2 left now.

Today marked #6 of 8 chemo treatments. And Thank God for that. Because I was just shy of having to leave my appointment and return tomorrow. Which isn't the end of the world, but there is something to be said for mentally psyching yourself up for treatment. It's as if I set myself up mentally the night, day even days before. So I am really glad I got it all done with today.

I guess my veins did not want to cooperate today. They could find a line, but not thread the needle into it. Yuck! And much love to my ever dedicated and fantastic friend Shelli who has been with me through it ALL. Jaclyn came today as well. Both beauties there next to me while I broke down into tears. As well as watched my blood draw and needles stuck in 5 times. I still think it was 6 or 7. But of course I would over shoot. It's always worse when it's you getting poked. I had to have 3 nurses trade off because it was just not working. Before the last one came in Maggie my nurse gently said,.."If this doesn't work we may need to have you come back another day." They needed to be safe. And they ended up sticking me in my wrist, which is not ideal. Taxol is not a "vesicant", but it could be potentially damaging to any/all tissue around the site if it gets out of the intended vein. And your wrist vs. a fattier part of the arm has a lot of tendons, joins, bones..etc that could be damaged even if caught right away. But I went for it understanding the risk. I just didn't move my arm or twist my wrist at all so the needle did not move.

Long winded. Sorry. So it is done. I am not a highly religious person, but I am so thankful and thankful to God for my friends. I am constantly humbled by how generous and genuinely caring they have been. Shelli in particular. I only hope I have the opportunity in my lifetime to give back to her as well as my other friends in need of the same kindness she has shown me. All day today she spent with me in that chemo room. Cleared her books because she knew I would be alone and she didn't want me to. Stayed even when I passed out to sleep. I never have to ask. She is there. And I never expect anything yet she consistently is there. I know how busy she is and how valuable her time really is on so many levels. I thank God for my friend Shelli and her amazing family.

And to all of my amazing friends and coworkers who do little and big things to pull me through; I love you. You have all in some way pulled me through, like a life line. It's very hard to explain, but the impact of even a simple phone call is huge. Jaclyn, thank you for today! You made me laugh during the worst part. don't know how you do it. You being there means so much and it was great to have just us girls!

So close to the end of treatment. I can feel it. My body is definitely worn down, but my mind is still very strong. After the first few days each time, I almost feel like my mind comes back from "chemo-cation" stronger than before. I have really cut down on my television consumption. So I think it is time to read. Chelsea keeps telling me to read "A New Earth" by Echart Tolle (spell?). I own it and have never read it. In part to the fact that it was all over Oprah. Kinda like "the Secret". Which is good, but I kind of think some self help books are over solicited and repeat stuff that we already know, just in different form. But I bought it, so I will read it. And it never hurts to take from it what you can. Positive reading. Better than television (for me) for sure.

Ready for my next treatment the day before Thanksgiving. Always so grateful for the love in my life. It is the best part of every day. When I close my eyes and really think about my existence..it is all about the love we give and receive. I can only hope to grow as a person by continuously giving/showing that love to those around me. What else is there?