Still losing hair.

So I am elated to be finished with chemo. I don't even have to go for a follow up with Dr. Gralow (Oncologist) until after the new year!! Wooo Hooo!

I am however super anxious now more than ever to see the first re-growth of hair,..well ...anywhere. After round 2 of Taxol all of my top eyelashes fell out. But oddly enough the lower ones remained. Just today all lower lashes fell out as I was washing my face. Very odd. Guess it will still effect my system for quite some time.

I have started drinking Mona Vie (my favorite suppliment/health drink! check out the website if you are curious:
http://www.monavie.com

I have also started taking vitamins again. And tomorrow will be my first day back to the gym in 6 months!! I am quite excited. But have to think about how I am going to cover my head without sweating to death in a beanie. ??? I am not gonna wear a bandana. No WAY! Man I am so out of shape I bet I'm gonna run 5 minutes on the treadmill and wanna pass out.

My daughter is playing "bedtime" with her 3 barbie dolls. Listening to her talk to her dolls is so damn funny. "Just sleep for a minute Mermaid. Just a minute while I work on my project for the day. K?"

It's off to Los Angeles on Monday for appointments with both of my doctors (Dr. DaLio/Plastic Surgeon & Dr. Giuliano/Oncologic Surgeon). Going (hopefully) to set a date for my exchange surgery. And hopefully discuss size, shape and recovery time. I really don't want to be layed out of 2 weeks. No freekin' way dude. Not after this entire past 10 months. "OVER IT!" Ready to work and get back on that workout horse. I am coveting a gym membership at David Barton. Ideally would be so nice to workout on "Seattle" days at All Star and "Bellevue" days at David Barton before or after work. But would be tough to workout on Bellevue days in Seattle. Just doesn't work with my Sophia driving schedule. Funny how complicated it gets to be healthy as you get a bit older, have a family and work obligations. All I am very blessed and happy with. But I really need to exercise. Make time, not find time..right?

Nausea..but I am done..right?

Oh my. Not sure but yesterday and today I have had the worst nausea yet. Threw up 3 times yesterday and tonight feels like I just might again.

My last treatment is over with. But just need to get through the next few days. My mind is over it. I guess my body is not. Might take awhile to get back to normal. Oh stomach. I am sorry I have done this to you.

Taxol isn't supposed to make you sick to your stomach..right?

What's the deal. Grrrrrr.

12/9/09

I am DONE!

Everything went smoothly. Had my favorite nurse assigned (Sandra Cunninghham) this a.m. and I cried a little in relief. I knew with her we would get a vein.

Shelli, you were there for me every step of the way. Didn't miss one treatment. I know how very valuable your time is and I a honored and humbled that you have chosen to spend our Wednesday time at SCCA in the transfusion room over these past 8 treatment weeks. You have again shown me the strength and compassion of a true friend. I love you.

Thanks to Jaclyn and Michelle for being there in the chemo room as well.

And Cooper. Really pulled me through. Although we may not always see eye to eye. I can be very demanding,..you have really stepped up over the last 4 months. You deserve a mini vacation!! Love you!

Phew...done & done. So full of appreciation and love for all of my friends and family who have called, written, spoken such kind words of support. I can't wait to get out and inspire those around me the way I have been inspired. But for now I just need to sleep and heal.

xoxoxoxox - Becky

Final treatment tomorrow!

I cannot believe tomorrow marks my last day of chemotherapy!

Provided the nurses can find a good/safe vein. I am SOOOO excited. Soooo excited. I am trying to not get too invested in this idea just in case my veins do not behave. But I am feeling really good about things. I have drank water/coconut water all day today.

I don't have too much to say about it other than it has been a long road. Typically 4-5 months seems to cruise by. Seems like it has been forever. But all in all it has not been so bad. For anyone out there that may have to go through chemo or have a loved on going through it just know:

* It can be done. Many people do it. It is a mind set. I kind of convinced myself that I had the flu each time instead of thinking chemo chemo chemo.

* Remember that as bad as you have it,..there is someone out who has it worse than you and they make it through with a positive attitude. When you see (sad as it is) how children have to go through this; it is hard to feel sorry for yourself or weak. The spirit that they have and the light in their eyes just inspired me. Here I am with a full understanding of the situation and understanding of the pain. I know that it is a means to a better healthier life. Getting through it with dignity and strength for all those who are worse off made it much more do-able.

* Visualize the future. Keep your mind in what will be. I used this time to embrace feeling powerless and stripped of any aesthetics. And in a way it forced me to just be me without any pretense. I am not my hair, my body, my clothes. I am my heart and my spirit. No one will remember how great I looked when I leave this earth,..but hopefully someone particularly my family and friends will remember my spirit and love.

* Count your blessings...almost all of them are my friends. They have meant SO much. I have always loved my girlfriends. But literally my friends & family have walked with me every step of the way. I hope no one I know has to face this challenge in the future. But no one that I know will go it alone. Love my dear friends. Shelli, Jaclyn, Melani, Chelsea, Danielle, Michelle and Beth particularly for being here in spirit as well as in person! Shelli for being there for EVERY one of my 8 treatments. Not once have I taken that for granted. You are a blessing and a dear dear friend! My amazing co-workers. And my rock solid family; Cooper...LOVE. Sophia my heart.

Deep Breath...I truly hope tomorrow goes as planned. So want to be DONE!!

Food Inc. WATCH IT!

I can't believe what I am seeing.

I am writing this in my blog about my fight against Breast Cancer because there is no way the food that we eat and cancer are not related. My case definitely could be primarily genetic. But regardless of genetics,...it cannot be healthy and beneficial to my immune system to consume the diet I have been consuming over the past 10 years. And organic is not a sham. It's real and the only way to go.

Average American eats 200 lbs of meat per person/year!! NUTS!

Treatment of these animals is outragious. Not only dangerous and abusive to animals but to our health. Most feed lots are oversized factories. These feed lots breed disease.

Never again will I eat chicken. Never again will I eat farm raised fish. Never again will I eat beef. I don't like pork and really don't eat it. But also done with any bacon or pepperoni. Just gross! And sad.

I was planning on moving to a completely raw diet a week or so after my last treatment. Now I know at least a macrobiotic diet is the only way to go. I just will not eat meat anymore.

I know I sound like another fanatic. But the movie reinforced what I already knew to be true. And if you don't watch it for yourself...if you are a parent,..watch it for the health of your child(ren).

Not cool America. Not cool. I need to take my health and where it starts seriously. I am what I eat.

Me first. Then I need to figure out how to get my 3 year old to embrace and like veggies, fruit and organic whole grains. Hmmm. One step at a time I guess.