I cannot believe tomorrow marks my last day of chemotherapy!
Provided the nurses can find a good/safe vein. I am SOOOO excited. Soooo excited. I am trying to not get too invested in this idea just in case my veins do not behave. But I am feeling really good about things. I have drank water/coconut water all day today.
I don't have too much to say about it other than it has been a long road. Typically 4-5 months seems to cruise by. Seems like it has been forever. But all in all it has not been so bad. For anyone out there that may have to go through chemo or have a loved on going through it just know:
* It can be done. Many people do it. It is a mind set. I kind of convinced myself that I had the flu each time instead of thinking chemo chemo chemo.
* Remember that as bad as you have it,..there is someone out who has it worse than you and they make it through with a positive attitude. When you see (sad as it is) how children have to go through this; it is hard to feel sorry for yourself or weak. The spirit that they have and the light in their eyes just inspired me. Here I am with a full understanding of the situation and understanding of the pain. I know that it is a means to a better healthier life. Getting through it with dignity and strength for all those who are worse off made it much more do-able.
* Visualize the future. Keep your mind in what will be. I used this time to embrace feeling powerless and stripped of any aesthetics. And in a way it forced me to just be me without any pretense. I am not my hair, my body, my clothes. I am my heart and my spirit. No one will remember how great I looked when I leave this earth,..but hopefully someone particularly my family and friends will remember my spirit and love.
* Count your blessings...almost all of them are my friends. They have meant SO much. I have always loved my girlfriends. But literally my friends & family have walked with me every step of the way. I hope no one I know has to face this challenge in the future. But no one that I know will go it alone. Love my dear friends. Shelli, Jaclyn, Melani, Chelsea, Danielle, Michelle and Beth particularly for being here in spirit as well as in person! Shelli for being there for EVERY one of my 8 treatments. Not once have I taken that for granted. You are a blessing and a dear dear friend! My amazing co-workers. And my rock solid family; Cooper...LOVE. Sophia my heart.
Deep Breath...I truly hope tomorrow goes as planned. So want to be DONE!!
What a powerful post! I really love your attitude, which I know is hard to keep in spite of all that you are going through. I think it's awesome that even while dealing with that, you are reaching out to others to help them.
ReplyDeleteAlso, you rock the bald look! Absolutely stunning!
Teri